ASTRID’S POV

Ragnar and I decided last night that it was high time we went back home. The plan was to leave this morning and I had everything packed when the door burst open.

Ragnar walked in with a face like thunder. In his hand was a scroll bearing the royal seal, and from his expression, I could tell it contained nothing good.

“What is it?” I asked, setting down my needle and thread.

“A campaign order,” he said, his voice tight with barely controlled fury. “Harald is sending me north to deal with raiders from across the sea. I’m to leave immediately with half my men.”

I felt my blood turn to ice. “What? How long?”

“Three months, maybe four. The message says I’m not to return until the threat is completely eliminated.” He crumpled the parchment in his fist. “It’s obviously a trap. He wants me away from court, away from you.”

The implications hit me like a physical blow. With Ragnar gone, I would be completely at the king’s mercy. No protection, no allies, no way to defend myself against whatever he had planned.

“You can’t go,” I said, though even as the words left my mouth, I knew how impossible that was.

“I have to. Refusing a direct military order would be treason. Harald would have every legal right to strip me of my lands and execute me.” Ragnar began pacing the room like a caged wolf. “But I won’t leave you here alone with him. I won’t give him that satisfaction.”

“What are our options?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady despite the fear clawing at my chest.

“I could take you with me,” he said. “Military campaigns are no place for women, but I could find a way to keep you safe. Or…” He paused, his expression darkening. “Or I could refuse the order and face the consequences.”

The thought of him choosing exile or death rather than leave me behind made my heart race with panic. “No. You can’t throw away everything you’ve built because of me.”

“Everything I’ve built means nothing if I lose you,” he said fiercely. “Don’t you understand that by now?”

I stood up and went to him, placing my hands on his chest to stop his restless pacing. “Listen to me. This is exactly what Harald wants – for you to make a rash decision that gives him an excuse to destroy you. We can’t let him win.”

“Then what do you suggest?” he asked, though I could see in his eyes that he already knew what I was going to say.

“You go on the campaign. You do your duty as his jarl, and you give him no reason to question your loyalty.”

“And leave you here to face whatever he has planned? Astrid, after what happened in his solar, after you refused his offer so publicly, do you really think he’s going to let you live peacefully until I return?”

The honest answer was no. I knew Harald well enough by now to understand that he didn’t forgive slights, and my rejection of his proposal had been the most public humiliation he’d suffered in years.

But I also knew that Ragnar’s reputation and position were the only things standing between us and complete destruction.

“I’ll be careful,” I said. “I’ll stay in our chambers, avoid court functions, keep my head down. I’ll survive until you come back.”

He shook his head violently. “That’s not good enough. You don’t know what he’s capable of, what lengths he’ll go to for revenge.”

“And you don’t know what I’m capable of,” I replied. “I survived in your stronghold when everyone thought I was just a helpless village girl. I earned the respect of your warriors, saved a man’s life, and made a place for myself in a world that didn’t want me. I can survive Harald’s court for a few months.”

I could see him wavering, torn between his duty as a jarl and his desire to protect me. The internal struggle was written clearly across his face – the warrior who had never backed down from a fight at war with the man who had found something worth living for.

“I have friends here,” I continued, pressing my advantage. “Lady Signy has been kind to me, and Lord Erik respects you enough to keep an eye on me while you’re gone. I won’t be completely alone.”

“Friends can’t protect you from a king,” Ragnar said grimly.

“No, but they can watch my back and send word if anything happens. And you’ll be back before he can do anything too drastic. He needs to maintain the pretense that this is just a routine military assignment.”

I could see him starting to accept the logic of my argument, even though every instinct he had was screaming against it.

This was the impossible choice Harald had presented us with – risk everything by refusing his orders, or accept the separation and hope we could both survive it.

“Promise me,” he said suddenly, gripping my shoulders. “Promise me you’ll be careful. No unnecessary risks, no heroic gestures. Just keep your head down and survive until I get back.”

“I promise,” I said, though the words felt like ash in my mouth.

“And if anything happens, anything at all, you send word immediately. I don’t care if I’m in the middle of a battle – I’ll come back for you.”

“I know you will.”

He pulled me against his chest then, holding me so tightly I could barely breathe. I could feel the rapid beating of his heart, could sense the war going on inside him between duty and love.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he whispered into my hair.

“I don’t want you to go,” I whispered back. “But we both know you have to.”

We spent the rest of that day and night as if it might be our last together. We talked until dawn about everything and nothing – memories of home, plans for the future, promises we might not be able to keep. When the sun finally rose, it felt like a death sentence.

Ragnar’s men were already assembled in the courtyard, their weapons and supplies loaded onto pack horses. The sight of them made my throat tighten with emotion.

These were good men, loyal men, and they were riding into danger because their king had decided to use them as pawns in his game.

“Take care of her,” Ragnar said quietly to Jovna who just joined us, who would be staying behind with the other half of the men. “If anything happens to her while I’m gone…”

“Nothing will happen,” Jovna promised, though I could see the worry in his scarred face. “I’ll watch over her like she was my own daughter.”

The public farewell was brief and formal – a kiss on the cheek, a few words about bringing honor to the realm, the sort of thing expected from a jarl’s wife sending her husband off to war.

But I could see the truth in Ragnar’s eyes, could feel the weight of all the things we couldn’t say in front of the watching crowd.

He was about to move away when I held him back again and leaned closer to his ears. “The attack on my village…” He stilled. “I know it wasn’t your fault. I know King Harald sent you to destroy our village.”

He stared at me in awe, wondering how I figured it out.

I moved away and smiled at him. “I’ll be waiting, please come back to me.”

He nodded, turned away as I stood on the castle walls and watched until his party disappeared into the forest, a knot of dread growing in my stomach with each passing moment.