Chapter 206
Alexei’s expression didn’t change but she could see his jaw tighten even more as he took only one step into the room. His fists clenched at his sides like he was holding himself back from reaching for her. Keira’s heart hammered against her ribs, her mind racing… exactly how much had he heard.
“The master key,” he finally said, his voice low and very controlled. “I came to see you and found the doors locked. I always keep the key with me in case one of the staff lock the doors.”
Keira couldn’t meet his gaze. “How long were you standing there?”
“Long enough.” His shoulders were rigid, tension radiating from every line of his stiff body. “You’re thinking of leaving me.”
The blunt statement hung in the air between them, impossible to deny because that was what she had been thinking of doing. Keira’s fingers twisted nervously, unconsciously playing with the ring he had given her.
“Alexei-”
“Why wasn’t I the first one to find out about how you were feeling?” The hurt in his voice cut through her like a knife. “You should have come to me first. I know you love your sisters, Keira but you hadn’t planned on marrying them. It’s me you plan on marrying. So, you disrespect our relationship by going to them first. Is this what married life would be like for you? Every time something gets a little tight you want out, or you go to your sisters?”
Alexei’s words struck Keira like a physical blow. The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable, raw and exposed in a way she’d never seen from him before.
“No, that’s not ” She shook her head, struggling to find the right words. “It’s not like that.”
“Then what is it like?” He remained by the balcony doors, maintaining his distance. “Because from what I just heard it’s exactly like that, it seems you’d rather discuss abandoning our engagement with your sisters than talk to me about what’s troubling you.”
Keira’s hands trembled as she moved toward the bed, needing to sit before her knees gave out. “I was trying to sort through my own thoughts before bringing them to you. My sisters are my sounding boards. I… I haven’t had anyone else before, Alexei. It’s always been just us.”
“Sort through your thoughts?” His voice rose slightly. “Keira, you were telling them you’re planning to leave me.”
“I wasn’t planning anything… well not yet and maybe not ever.” She protested, finally looking up at him. “I was feeling overwhelmed and scared and worried about everything.”
“And you couldn’t tell me that?” The hurt in his voice was transforming into anger now. “You couldn’t trust me enough to say, ‘Alexei, I’m struggling with all this‘?”
She wrapped her arms around herself. “I didn’t want to add to your burden. I felt… no I feel like I’m not the right person for this.” Maybe that bitch Maria was right after all,
“That’s what partners do,” he cut in sharply. “They carry each other’s burdens. They don’t hide their fears and
doubts until they’re ready to walk away. We should have been talking about this.”
“I wasn’t going to just walk away without talking to you,” she insisted. “I was just… considering my options.”
A bitter laugh escaped him. “Your options? This isn’t a job you can quit when it gets difficult, Keira. This is us. This is our life together. There are going to be times you don’t like the press coverage. You need to hold your head up high and face it head on. It gives them no power over you.”
His words hit home, sending a wave of shame through her. She’d been thinking about this all wrong, treating their relationship like something she could resign from rather than a partnership they were building together.
“You’re right,” she admitted quietly. “I should have come to you first. I’m sorry.” Keira gave a short laugh. “Sometimes I can’t take my own advice.” She had told Amelia to talk to Niko and She hadn’t done that.
Alexei raked a hand through his hair, frustration evident in every movement. “Do you have any idea what it was like to hear you say those things? To stand there listening to you tell your sisters I’d be better off without you?”
Keira’s eyes filled with tears. “I was trying to do what’s best for you.”
“Best for me?” He finally moved toward her, closing the distance between them in a few quick strides. “How is losing the woman I love what’s best for me?”
“Because I’m ruining everything!” The words burst out of her, raw and pained. “The press hates me; your people hate me. Every time I step outside, someone finds a new way to criticize me. And it’s not just affecting me… it’s affecting you. How is that fair?”
Alexei knelt in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Is that what this is about? The press coverage?”
“It’s not just that,” she said, tears spilling down her cheeks. “It’s everything. The pressure, the scrutiny, feeling like I’m constantly being judged and found wanting.”
“Keira…” Alexei said, his brow furrowed with concern.
“No, you want to hear it… I don’t know how to be what everyone expects,” Keira confessed, her voice breaking. “I’m more scared of letting you down than I have ever worried about anything in my life before. I never worried about what everyone thought of me before.” She looked up at him, vulnerability raw in her eyes. “But what… what if I’m not enough?”
“I don’t expect you to be anything but yourself,” he said firmly. “The woman I fell in love with. You are enough… you are my perfect match.”
“But that’s not enough, is it?” She pulled her hands away, wiping at her tears. “Not for a future princess. Not for Wystovia.
“It’s enough for me.” His voice softened. “And the people will come around, Keira. Change takes time. You are expecting a lot in just a week.”
She looked at him, glad to see the hurt and anger was gone from his eyes now. Warmth flooded through Keira at Alexei’s words. Even with her fears still swirling inside her, his statement settled something deep within her. She searched his face, finding nothing but truth in his eyes. He wasn’t saying this to make her happy or calm her down. He would choose her over the title.
“You would really do that, wouldn’t you?” she whispered. “Walk away from everything you’ve known?”
“In a heartbeat,” he replied without hesitation, his thumbs gently brushing away the remnants of her tears. “This crown, this country… they’re part of me, but they’re not worth sacrificing what we have. I think I have loved you for longer than I was willing to admit.”
Keira’s breath caught in her throat. In his words she found hope and that meant everything to her. Because other than her sisters she had never felt she was truly wanted by anyone. Not their aunt and uncle who had taken them in and not their daughter Laura. It was part of the reason she had built the wall around her heart.
“But I don’t want you to have to make that choice,” she admitted, covering his hands with hers. “I just… I don’t want to be the reason your people turn against you.”
Alexei shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. “My people have survived much worse than their prince falling in love with a mouthy American.”
That pulled a reluctant laugh from her. “I’m serious, Lex.”
“So am I.” He shifted to sit beside her on the bed, his arm slipping around her waist. “The press will always find something to criticize. If it wasn’t you, it would be something else. You can’t let their opinions dictate our happiness. I love it when you call me Lex… That’s the first time you have said it outside making love.”
Keira leaned against him, drawing strength from his solid presence. “I’m not used to feeling so… vulnerable. Before you, I had huge walls up which only included me and my sisters. Nothing got through. I think it’s why I never had a serious relationship.”
“You let me in and it’s scaring you and with everything else going on.” His lips brushed her temple.
She turned to face him fully. “You could hurt me more than anyone. I think that’s what scares me more than anything.” The kidnapping had shown her there were no guarantees in life. She could have died in that warehouse. So, she had stopped fighting her feelings for him.
“Yes, but the same could be said about you, Keira.” His expression remained serious. “I have never told anyone I love them before.”
Keira’s heart hammered in her chest as she absorbed his words. She’d been so consumed by her own fears that she’d never truly considered how much power she held over him.
“I’ve never told anyone… well a man, that is, I love them either,” she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. “Before you.”
His eyes darkened, tension visibly draining from his shoulders. One hand reached up to trace the curve of her cheek, his touch gentle despite the intensity in his gaze.
“Then trust in that,” he said. “Trust in us. The rest will follow.”
She leaned into his touch, drawing strength from the warmth of his skin against hers. “I’m sorry I didn’t come to you first. I was just so scared of disappointing you.”
“You could never disappoint me,” Alexei said fiercely, pulling her closer until their foreheads touched. “But you can hurt me by shutting me out. Don’t make decisions about us without me, Keira. That’s all I ask.”
“I won’t,” she promised. “Not again.”
